Here’s something a little different … I’m usually so freeform, stream-of-consciousness, way to angsty when I bang out a ‘poem’. Here I’m actually using rhyme and meter, and I think I like what I’ve produced. So I’m posting it in all three places (myspace, here, LJ) for critical comment from people who know what they’re on about 🙂 Otherwise how am I to learn? And … just to share in case anyone should like it….
Whither will I wander
Now I’m aimless and alone?
anchor free and rudderless,
no harbour, haven, home.
Set afloat to drift along
a current or a breeze
in which direction should I go?
whatever way the wind shall blow?
Oh whither will I wander
now I’m aimless and alone?
Rivers, lakes and oceans green
may well my soul console
With Oceanids and Naiads
by my side to wayward stroll
My eyes are drawn to watery depths
so cool and so serene
Poseiden’s gemstones sparkle deep
wrap me up in seaweed sleep
Oh whither will I wander
now I’m aimless and alone?
Will I roam a winding path,
through Poe-like landscapes sigh?
See Saracenic castles hang
etherically up high?
Or country gardens secret
overgrown with plants of yore?
dragonfly on Buddha stone
ephemeral thought has come and flown
oh whither will I wander
now I’m aimless and alone?
Are astral realms the fair domain
that I shall travel to?
On gleaming moonbeams to the stars
and planes that I once knew?
Exist in nought but dreams and thought
in wisps of sound and vision
Cherubim and Seraphim
sonorous, silvery, softly sing
Oh whither will I wander
now I’m aimless and alone?
Will I find that I am lost
within a forest stark?
Wreathed in mist and frightened of
the creatures in the dark?
Cloaked in snow and cold of heart
my spirit shrinks and withers
dread and doom and dark despair
nearing close to Death’s dank lair
Oh whither will I wander
now I’m aimless and alone?
If you should see me wandering
along the ocean shore
I warn you to avert your eyes
and look on me no more
Passion and despair without a home
are howling beasts
Wistful, lost and yearning heart
will tear your happy life apart
I do not see as others see
I seek myself, myself to free
as I was formed to wander
in my solitude alone.
Julia, 2007
Let me get out my red pen of doom so that I may have my way with you. LOL! I really enjoyed it and your rhyme scheme was lovely rather than forced and absurd, now I have to print it out and read it again. I’ll be back . . . in a while.
argh English teachers and their red pens lol! I had better get used to it, wot?
Thanks so much … nothing is worse that ‘rhyming’ poetry where the meter doesn’t flow. Perhaps it’s my musical background that helps there.
*waiting in trepidation*