Yes, drool, slavering, utterly enchanted … with my new arrival from Amazon today: “The New Annotated Dracula”. It’s hardcover. It’s BIG. It’s cover is black red and silver (and the red is sticky, like blood!). It is VERY annotated! I think there is probably a bigger word count for the annotations than for the novel itself! Chock to the brim with information on the novel, the Victorian era and historical oddities, such as the science of blood transfusion, illustrations and images galore … it’s a treasure. I’m going to shelve the novels I was reading and get stuck into this instead. And all for the price of $25 USD. In Australia, a book like this would be well upwards of $60. OOO and it smells deliciously booky, unlike most new books. Good paper stock.

WATCH RICHARD III!! That is, the 1995 version with Ian McKellen (he also wrote the screenplay). PHENOMENAL. All round. McKellen set Richard III in a pre-war (30’s that is), facist Britain . McKellen’s Richard of Gloucester is suitably twisted, physically and psychologically, quite mad, creepy, yet you sympathise with him.

I’m having bad dreams about failing my first uni assignment. I spoke to my counsellor about it at my monthly session on Monday, and she reminded me … “have you actually failed at anything before?” No. Never. And I came top of my class for the welfare class. But never before have I had to deal with chemobrain before either. How long will this last? I always feel slightly spacey, dizzy even, and my brain seems unable to grasp hold of anything definitively.

I’m very much in a place of peace despite my unruly intellectual vicissitudes. I’m reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. Meditating. Sleeping. The weather is beautiful this time of year, though this morning I noticed it looked like the dust was back over my ‘old town’ when I went in there, but it was purely bushfire smoke.

I did something yesterday I never do … gardening. It was such a beautiful day. I tackled the little shady garden underneath my bedroom window. Big elephant ears, azaleas, bromeliads, a lovely ground cover (which I need to transplant more of) … a pity the azaleas flowers are just on the turn. There are gardens all over the placehere, so I am going to have to weed continuously it would seem, as my housemate, while she has lots of plans to get in the garden, does nothing! The froggies are happy with my efforts … a little fella in my patch hasn’t shut up since! Some pics of my bedroom garden:

And, because these were on my memory card anyway:

 

 

And because I’m really in a sharing mood about my world today, check this out. The song of the male whip bird, which we have down in the little bit of bush behind our backyard. The liquid sound of the whip bird always reminds me of rainforests. (The image is crap, but the sound is clear.)

 

But wait, THERE’S MORE! Photos from my Gloucester camping trip the previous weekend over at my photo galleries.

Hope you’re all enjoying your world as much as I’m enjoying mine.

 

“To live content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich, to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly, to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with an open heart, to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never, in a word to let the Spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common, this is to be my symphony.” ~ William Ellery Channing

It’s the bearing all cheerfully, and not hurrying, that I have problems with. Working on them though 🙂 Nicked from Rena.

I wrote a long post here earlier, and lost the lost *sigh*

In the early hours of yesterday morning, I wrote and sent a goodbye letter/email to Mr Music. I know every single one of you who knows me and is reading this will be cheering. I’m not. I just feel sad. SO. SO. SO. Sad. But quiet, and still, and very, very calm.

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I am so perfectly content in this exact moment in time. How’s that for mindfulness? Liam and I came home from camping this morning. It wasn’t a rushed trip, as there were a couple of slow vehicles in front of us nearly the entire way. The ipod played Abbey Rd and Magical Mystery Tour and we both sung along (Liam does love The Beatles!)

I got the bulk of my uni assignment finished near midnight Friday, we left for camping Saturday. Campfire on Saturday night was one of the best I’ve been at… multiple guitars and harmonicas. Lots of Pink Floyd, blues, et al. Some veyr stimulating talk about psychedelic drugs, literature, music, art and god knows what else (a fair amount of alcohol was consumed and I am don’t remember everything in its entirity! Which is not to say I was rolling drunk). Liaim and I went for a good long walk Sunday afternoon, along the ‘river’ side, took some lovely pics … will dl them off my phone to share. Going to sleep with the sound of the river (which is more of a creek really) babbling loudly over all the rocks. Frogs, bats. Waking up to the liquid warbling of the magpies. My favourite McGackle Birds. Kookaburras sitting over our heads come close to dinner time. I’ve scored my parents tent by default now, as they don’t use it anymore. Nothing like sleeping on a blow up matress on a camp stretcher. Got a little sunburned on my back, so now I smell like menthol and frangipani 🙂

Got home this morning to get on the computer immediately to finish the assignment … only a cover page and bibliography needed doing. And turned it in online. YAY. 3200 words. DONE. Now I’m panicking about my mark. I’m still suffering some loss of normal brain function due to chemo and it wasn’t as good as I could have done previously. Anyway.

Some changes occurring right now. I am itching to get started on this mindfulness course. I feel better than I have in such a long time lately. Somebody, last week, accused me of having made no progress despite all of the therapy I have had since being diagnosed with cancer last year. I can only shake my head. I have made so much progress it’s hard to believe. Mind you, the person that said this did it as a deliberate jab intended to hurt me I think, as I had only just been saying to them about how far I had come. Turning something that was good into an insult. Yep. But I know the truth. I’m not likely to get an apology, but … water off a ducks back this time. The reality is that I’m seeing so much clearer, and calmer, these days, that I see what is for what it is.

Been a lot of thinking lately. Questioning. Reprioritising.  All good. Freeing, ah God SO freeing. I’m getting my oomph back (Still waiting for the mental and physical oomphs though ha ha!). Growing my spine back again. Been a while.

And on another totally random note, I’m waiting to hear from the removalists when they will be able to bring my piano up to me. Life is good. Friends … true friends who don’t hurt each other … are precious. Frogs, birds and water are the treasures. And I’m tired and not writing very well at all. Brainfreeze due to uni assignment overload ha! So now, I am getting prone to find Buddha …

Silence. It’s golden, it truly is. And gives peace of mind. The making of silence. I feel no need. I feel a curious lack of connection and it’s kind of ‘nice’. I seriously think, that in this silence, I am not missed in the slightest, which reinforces to me the knowledge that therefore silence is the best policy.

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A quote by Omar Khayyám.

I can’t help wishing I had kept that beautiful book, now.