It feels like a world away, since I last posted here. So much has happened. So much is still happening. And all of it good (touch wood). My world finally feels ‘true’. I’m self actualizing. I’m in constant wonder at this ‘new’ person who is me. This person who is creating and creating, and studying, and enjoying life after cancer. Who IS this? I have never felt so good.
I spent a lot of time in solitary confinement, studying my first unit in Film Studies. I’m very relieved to hear seasoned students who also did this unit say this was the hardest they had ever done, as my first assignment was returned with something that devastated me … a mark of 58%. A pass. It was a good lesson. A good kick up the bum. I wasn’t the only one to get bad marks either.
I got my final paper back yesterday. I was so nervous when I opened that envelope, but … I’ve been celebrating since! I got a high distinction on this one. Did NOT expect that. Hoped for a distinction, expected a credit. All that hard work and dreaming of plot holes in Mad Max was worth it! I feel on top of the world. I feel re-motivated. I know now I really can do this. However. When I went online to enrol in next year’s units, I found I could do music as a major for a BA. I didn’t know that. I thought you could only do a BMus, which I could never attempt as I never did grades, don’t have the performance skills, etc. So … my majors are now English and Music. I still intend doing film studies, but as a minor … as my elective subjects. I’m REALLY excited about this. I can’t wait to start studying music. I’ve made sure I’d not throwing myself in the deep end by contacting the head of the music dept and sussing out the situation. He said I should have no problems.
Since submitting that last paper, I’ve been spending time reading … fiction. Wonderful books. Good books. And drawing. Can’t stop drawing … I’m at it more often than not, now. Lots of pen and ink, watercolour pencils and even plain old coloured pencils. I bought a book on drawing with coloured pencils and have been having a ball doing the exercises in it. In addition to the usual spheres, eggs, pieces of fruit, here are some examples of the exercises (my work):
These were done with Derwent Studio pencils. Not really the right pencils, and the paper is too rough in texture I think, as I’m using my art journal rather than a proper sketch book. I rewarded myself for my high distinction by buying a set of 132 Prismacolor pencils, half the price I would pay in Australia, from ebay in the US. Can’t WAIT for those to turn up!
I’ve also been drawing some things for Liam. First this, copied from an illustration in a Pamela Allen book (his favourite author):
And he requested a Bakugan when he saw a ‘how to draw a Bakugan’ thing in a magazine. It was very complicated drawing, and I can’t imagine anyone but an experienced drawer of high school age managing to do it:
So yeah, I’ve been busy 🙂 I’ve also been coming up with some ideas for some artworks, even a self portrait of sorts. I have Christmas cards I want to make by hand and have to get started on for my friends OS.
I’m creating, creating, creating, and in a way I wouldn’t have thought. I feel as if I have FINALLY come out the other side of those horrific, dark woods I’ve been in the last two years. And better than ever. I don’t remember ever feeling this good. And strangely, I have cancer to thank for that.
