Peculiar Julia - Thought repository and wine-fuelled rambles, digital scrapbook and general shambles
Menu
Skip to content
  • home
  • About me/contact
  • planning
  • creativity
  • crafty stuff

Category Archives: creativity

Art, and travel!

6 January, 201013 July, 2016

I might have been quiet, but I’ve been a busy bee lately. Most of what I’ve been doing has been creative, which is wonderful. In an email to a friend two days ago, I said I’d finally reached that creative life I had been longing for with such urgency for oh, well over the last three or four years. I’ve been playing a lot of piano, making jewellery, and drawing. My art journal is quickly filling up. I thought for a change I’d do a zentangle on black paper, with a white pen and this was the result:

zentangle white on black
There is no right side up or down or sideways with these. Whichever way you turn it, this one is diabolically bad.

I haven’t been doing much colour pencil work lately, but did manage this in a perspective exercise:

sofa and coffee table perspective exercise

I found a new illustrator to love–Ertè. He was a French Russian-born artist and designer, better known for his Art Deco fashion design, however a lot of his work looks like Art Nouveau, crossing over. I’ve been using his work to sketch, for the experience of course, but also because they are sparking ideas of things I want to do myself. Here’s some sketches (warning: very basic and quick sketches) taken from Ertè.

mermaids sketch

nude woman stretching

nude woman

In February, I am going to Western Australia for a couple of weeks to stay with my niece, Natasha, whilst her parents are on holiday in New Zealand. They requested I stay with her, and are paying half the airfare thankfully, as although Tash is 17 and well able to look after herself, she is in the grip of a severe depression and her parents aren’t happy leaving her alone. Tash and I are both really excited about it. She’s planning lots of music listening sessions, lots of film watching, lots of art (my suitcase is going to be chock full of art supplies rather than clothes), lots of sushi-eating and curry-cooking. As usual, I just wish it was longer. I will be alone most of the time, as she works, but I always love it even if it is like that (and it usually is) because it tends to be a reboot time for me, refreshing and spiritual.

I want to reprise this space, use it better and more creatively. I opened up my old old blog to have a look at some links I had there of other people’s blogs, and was reminded of the ‘creative web’ Rena and I used to go on about 🙂 I’m inspired again.

Santa bought Liam a Masterchef cupcake making kit for Christmas (as Liam is rather a huge Masterchef fan) and it is time to go help him ice them. Fun!

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
1 Comment
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

Who IS this Julia?

27 November, 200913 July, 2016

It feels like a world away, since I last posted here. So much has happened. So much is still happening. And all of it good (touch wood). My world finally feels ‘true’. I’m self actualizing. I’m in constant wonder at this ‘new’ person who is me. This person who is creating and creating, and studying, and enjoying life after cancer. Who IS this? I have never felt so good.

I spent a lot of time in solitary confinement, studying my first unit in Film Studies. I’m very relieved to hear seasoned students who also did this unit say this was the hardest they had ever done, as my first assignment was returned with something that devastated me … a mark of 58%. A pass. It was a good lesson. A good kick up the bum. I wasn’t the only one to get bad marks either.

I got my final paper back yesterday. I was so nervous when I opened that envelope, but … I’ve been celebrating since! I got a high distinction on this one. Did NOT expect that. Hoped for a distinction, expected a credit. All that hard work and dreaming of plot holes in Mad Max was worth it! I feel on top of the world. I feel re-motivated. I know now I really can do this. However. When I went online to enrol in next year’s units, I found I could do music as a major for a BA. I didn’t know that. I thought you could only do a BMus, which I could never attempt as I never did grades, don’t have the performance skills, etc. So … my majors are now English and Music. I still intend doing film studies, but as a minor … as my elective subjects. I’m REALLY excited about this. I can’t wait to start studying music. I’ve made sure I’d not throwing myself in the deep end by contacting the head of the music dept and sussing out the situation. He said I should have no problems.

Since submitting that last paper, I’ve been spending time reading … fiction. Wonderful books. Good books. And drawing. Can’t stop drawing … I’m at it more often than not, now. Lots of pen and ink, watercolour pencils and even plain old coloured pencils. I bought a book on drawing with coloured pencils and have been having a ball doing the exercises in it. In addition to the usual spheres, eggs, pieces of fruit, here are some examples of the exercises (my work):

teapot

partial_face

 

These were done with Derwent Studio pencils. Not really the right pencils, and the paper is too rough in texture I think, as I’m using my art journal rather than a proper sketch book. I rewarded myself for my high distinction by buying a set of 132 Prismacolor pencils, half the price I would pay in Australia, from ebay in the US. Can’t WAIT for those to turn up!

I’ve also been drawing some things for Liam. First this, copied from an illustration in a Pamela Allen book (his favourite author):

done in pen and ink, and watercolour pencils
done in pen and ink, and watercolour pencils

And he requested a Bakugan when he saw a ‘how to draw a Bakugan’ thing in a magazine. It was very complicated drawing, and I can’t imagine anyone but an experienced drawer of high school age managing to do it:

This is a wip. I've just completed the pencil outline, next I go over it in pen and ink, and colour the thing in.
This is a wip. I’ve just completed the pencil outline, next I go over it in pen and ink, and colour the thing in.

So yeah, I’ve been busy 🙂 I’ve also been coming up with some ideas for some artworks, even a self portrait of sorts. I have Christmas cards I want to make by hand and have to get started on for my friends OS.

I’m creating, creating, creating, and in a way I wouldn’t have thought. I feel as if I have FINALLY come out the other side of those horrific, dark woods I’ve been in the last two years. And better than ever. I don’t remember ever feeling this good. And strangely, I have cancer to thank for that.

Read More

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
2 Comments
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

SERIOUS fun for doodlers…

11 November, 200913 July, 2016

I had the BEST day today. No study. Paper is submitted. Semester is FINISHED. Why do people put themselves through that, I wonder, and how on EARTH do they manage a full time study load? I swear, if I don’t get a better mark this time, after studing obsessively day and night for weeks on end … to the point of DREAMING of problems with the Mad Max narrative … I’ll … don’t know what. Can’t think that far yet. Now I can read Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” just for fun. Ha!

I spent the day reading … a NOVEL … and drawing, or doodling. Check this out: zentangles.com. SERIOUS fun for doodlers. SERIOUS doodling. ***** drooling*****. Here’s an example (one I did today):

Extreme doodling!
Extreme doodling!

Best done with a good quality pigment liner, and shading with lead pencil. It looks so much better in my art journal, of course. Now I’m thinking it would look really good with watercolours on top. Looks like I have a brand new obsession.

There is no right or wrong with zentangling. There is no up or down. Doing one a day would be a great thing to get the creative juices ‘untangled’!

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
Leave a comment
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

A transformative painting experience of an Aboriginal legend

20 July, 200913 July, 2016

This past week, I can safely say, has been one of the best weeks of my life. I have spent it in Sydney, at the International Anthroposophical Art Conference. It was held at “Riverview” (St Ignatius College … a Jesuit school for boys). First lesson of the conference… the Jesuits are richer than God … I kid you not. This place is huge. Acres and acres on prime riverside/harbourside land. The construction of the main building (a HUGE 3 storey affair made of big sandstone blocks) commenced in the 1880s. I will post photos in my albums later.

We had accommodation on the grounds, all lectures were held in the theatrette (just like a big university lecture room), we had concerts of a night time, morning singing sessions, and two painting workshops per day. My workshop was Art in Therapy (using watercolors). We painted based on an old Aboriginal legend, as a transformative story (and process of painting), a metamorphosis, that can be used for people undergoing major life changes and crisis (I found it particularly good on a personal level for me, given last year’s battle with cancer etc). Here I tell the legend, and show you the painting that I did as a result.

The Message of Butterflies

This legend comes from the Barkindji people of northern New South Wales. It is thought-provoking; a legend you will not easily forget. It explains how the very first Barkindji people came to understand and accept death. It explains how they came to an awakening belief in life beyond the grave.

There was a time when the creation of this land was still very, very new; when the birds and animals and all other creatures shared a common language; when humans could interchange their form or personality with that of birds and animals; when the concept of death and dying was still unknown. This was in the early days of the Dreaming. As you might expect, however, a death did eventually occur.

One evening a young cockatoo fell from its nest and lay lifeless on the ground with its neck broken. The first people, together with all the other birds and creatures, were very concerned, and indeed quite frightened. This was something they had no concept of; they did not understand.

A great crowd stood around silently and watched as the humans tried, unsuccessfully, to revive the bird. After a time the Elders of the group decided that the ever-present spirits must have chosen to take the life force from teh cockatoo so that it could be transformed or used in some new way. Still, they were very puzzled by this new occurrence. They agreed that they needed to experiment further.

They called for volunteers. At first no-one at all was keen to die so that the process could be studied by the others, but after a time some lowly caterpillars did, tentatively, offer their services. It was understood that the phenomenon of death, as seen by what had happened to the cockatoo, meant that those creatures involved in the experiment had to reach a stage in which they were totally still. They had to reach a stage in which they did not move, eat, see, hear, or do anything at all. It was agreed that the caterpillars must somehow mesmerize themselves ingto such a state and then maintain it for a period of time, to see what would happen.

A protective cocoon was duly made for each caterpillar. The cocoons were attached to the limbs of the tallest trees, some of which almost reached up to the sky-world. All through the long, cold winter the cocoons hung there in that place. At first the eager people watched them with great anticipation. Bu days and weeks went by and there was no change, no magic transformation, nothing at all to see. The people of course became very disappointed. Meanwhile, they kept themselves very busy making tools, gathering food, learning to build shelters and generally helping each other. Indeed they were so busy that, as the winter months slowly passed, most of them quite forgot about the caterpillars who had crawled into those dark cocoons, so many weeks earlier.

During this beginning period in time, the pattern of the four seasons was also still developing. The people were pleased indeed when, after the long, cold, bleak winter, the earth gradually began to warm up, yet again. They were delighted. It was exciting to see the buds bursting into blossoms; to see the leaves growing again on the bare trees; and most of all to feel the sun becoming warmer and warmer each day.

The people were so pleased that they began planning a feast and a special corroboree of celebration. They wished, through their corroboree, to show their gratitude to their creator for all the joys of the new season which we now know as spring. The celebration feast had just begun when a whole bunch of excited dragonflies swarmed in among the people.

‘Look up. Look up,’ they urged. ‘Look up at the cocoons.  They are splitting open!’

A breathless hush fell upon the crowd as all eyes turned expectantly towards the tall trees. Each person gasped in amazement and wonder as, one after another, the cocoons opened, letting loose a host of beautiful butterflies, the like of which had never been seen before. The delicate creatures fluttered gently down to be admired. They spread their fragile, multi-colored wings, the colors of which shone radiantly, iridescently, in the soft light. They rested gracefully on nearby bushes and trees. They looked splendid.

All the people watched in quiet delight. They were pleased that their experiment had been successful. The dull, ordinary caterpillars had indeed bee magically and wonderfully transformed. It was a most exciting result and the people, after that, lost their fear of death.

After such a demonstration, they would always see the process of death as a stage, as a still and silent stage, prior to a wondrous and exciting transformation, a new beginning.

Now, centuries have passed, and generation after generation of Aboriginal people have been born and have lived out their lives in this area. And all of them, together with most other people from other areas, have continued to hold this belief firmly in their hearts. Their faith has been renewed every spring as yet another cluster of beautiful butterflies has magically emerged.

***************

At this stage I decided to take a photo because I was liking it so much and I wanted a record in case I stuffed it up along the track. Good thing I did 🙂

First, we started off ‘breathing in’ a blue, from the edges into the center, ultramine, to cerilean, fading to a white center. This was the beginning of creation. The blue is enfolding, nuturing, surrounding. The aim is to feel this as you paint. Carmine red is introduced into the center breathes out into the blue. The very first evening. The cockatoo is painted in next (we used gouache for this), surrounded by a gray ‘plane’ of death. Next we introduce more blue, strengthening parts of the blue, feeling the fear of the people and other animals. Next we introduced yellow. Yellow is an inquiring color, a color that likes to play and spread. Over the blue of course this produced the green. The tree felt it needed to go in the middle. I needed to keep washing over the cockatoo with color to keep him ‘dead’. He kept resurrecting himself with bright white! More intensification of blue, and violet communicating with the red and blue. Some ochre in the green to give it some ground. And the glow around the tree. More yellow/green.

I was very VERY happy with my painting at this point, considering this is the first time I’ve done a ‘real’ painting as opposed to a couple of color exercises.

Next the elders were painted in, in incarnadine, and a soft violet. I decided to do most of them sitting, waiting, wondering. At this point came the first of the stuff-ups … that bell-shaped Buddha-like one near the cockatoo. He shouldn’t be there. The more that was added, the more that everything that was already there needed to be strengthened. The green in the tree trunk, more peach blossom, more yellow/green.

 

The finished product.

The moon is falling away from the earth, separating itself. The cocoons are built in the trees for the volunteers … the catepillars. A time of quiet, waiting, stillness for the volunteers. Then … the butterflies arrive. I have to say right out I do NOT like my butterflies. One is the shape, naturally, and the other is the color. Now, the tutor doing our workshop had me do the butterflies this color because of the way it reacts playfully against the pink in the middle.  All of a sudden it looked like an illustration in a childrens book (which is fine, just not what I wanted, although it DOES make .me think of different things I could do perhaps…) I wanted multicolored butterflies, rather diaphanous butterflies. Not such solid, blue ones. Then, last of all of the new things in the picture, the green around the tree. The ‘leaves’, as it was the very first spring. This took away the beautiful silveryness of the tree bark, covered most of the glow, and came down and touched the biggest butterfly, making the placement all wrong.

So there it is, a story told in the actual ACT of painting, which is to be felt in the soul as you do it. I suppose I have to admit it’s not bad for a very first effort. In fact, I WAS told I had talent and I should definitely keep on painting. Very affirming, very warm and good for the self esteem.

But the best thing … I had FUN. I could stand at that easel for hours (and did), totally absorbed, totally happy, and unaware of anything around me. Only when we were told we had to stop did I notice that my feet hurt badly, or that it was dark outside the classroom and it was time for dinner! I am definitely going to do a lot more painting. It was bliss.

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
4 Comments
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

On Love, Sex and War

11 July, 2009

Anais NinYesterday I finished the second volume of AnaĂŻs Nin’s diary. As luck would have it, yesterday also brought the arrival of Henry and June, Delta of Venus and Eros Unbound (the last two being her erotic short stories … and oh boy, they are erotic!).

I am again utterly enchanted by her. I can see the fascination she held for both men and women. While her narcissism at times is repulsive, I can’t help but be intrigued. That narcissism, though, I’ve seen in other creative ‘geniuses’ that I know, true artists. Maybe it’s a prerequisite.

In Henry and June, though, because it is unabridged and she talks of her husband, and her love for him, Henry and June, and talks about her ecstasies, she becomes to me more of a burning flame. She lives as a woman with vulnerabilities, becomes more real. The letters between her and Henry Miller are so beautiful. He woke her up sexually and sensually. If only we could all be so lucky.

Such a wise woman. She was a healing, intuitive guide with a deep knowledge of what it is to be woman. What I deeply want to be myself. From the second volume, at the outbreak of WWII:

“When you live closely to individual dramas you marvel that we do not have continuous war, knowing what nightmares human beings conceal, what secret obsessions and hidden cruelties.”

…

“You give you faith, your love, your body to someone, year after year, and within this human being lies a self who does not know you, does not understand and is driven by motives even he cannot decipher. In one instant, all that was created between you, every word said in trust, every caress, every link as clear to you as a piece of architecture, an architecture born of feeling, of mutual work, of memories, is swept away by some inner distortion, a twisted vision, a misinterpretation, a myth, a childhood being relived. And this was the madness we were about to enter on a grandiose scale. For war is madness.”

…

I had the illusion that when one loves, just as when we create human children, we create a permanent image of love like an iron statue by a sculptor. I was horrified to discover that the image the other person carried within him bore no resemblance to one’s own, or that it could be annihilated by another love, or by a misunderstanding, or a distortion, or a failure of memory. This gave me a foretaste of death. We were not enshrined in the other’s heart, and the one we loved was often immured, alone, separate from us. The war destroyed our illusion of a strong, unshatterable intimate world of personal loves.

Other passages from the second volume that spoke:

Read More

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
1 Comment
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

The nature of woman

5 July, 2009

Esther Harding (The Way of All Women):

The moon-like character of the woman’s nature appears to men to be dependent only on her whims. If she changes her mind, it never occurs to him that she changes it because of changed conditions within her own psyche, as little under her control perhaps as a change in the weather … Woman’s nature is cyclic … apart from her personal or egoistic desires. The nature of woman is non-personal and has nothing to do with her own wishes, it is something inherent in her as feminine being and must not be regarded merely as something personal. The life force ebbs and flows in her actual experience, not only in nightly and daily rhythm as it does for man, but also in moon cycles, quarter phases, half phases, full moon, decline, and so round to dark moon. These two changes together produce a rhythm which is like the moon’s changes, and also like the tides whose larger monthly cycle works itself out concurrently with the diurnal changes, sometimes increasing the swing of the tides and at others working  against the tidal movements, the whole producing a complex rhythm hard to understand.

I forget. I forget about the woman’s inner law of change. Mutability of emotions; the constant flux. If I forget, I can hardly expect males to remember (if they are privy to this fundamental piece of information on womanhood!). I have always questioned my femininity. Always believed myself to be ‘less than’ feminine, without the knowledge of how to be feminine, androgynous. But here it is … the ‘moon-like character’ of woman’s nature is an essential part of being feminine and, well, who embodies this mutability more than myself? I keep believing it is a ‘critical flaw’ in me. No, it is me experiencing being ‘essentially feminine’. Granted, hormonal changes because of chemo causing early menopause and tamoxifen amplify the ebbs and flows dramatically (yet they are starting to settle).

I have been reading a most excellent book called ‘Intimacy and Solitude‘ by Stephanie Dowrick. She talks quite a lot about gender differences, and there is much in there that engenders (forgive the pun) “aha!” moments. Much, that if only men and women knew these things and could remember them, would go a long way toward contributing to harmony between the sexes. Empathy for instance … is a female trait, not natural to males, so don’t expect it (of course this is a generalisation, but a generalisation of the majority, as most generalisations are). Simple. As simple as Miranda hearing “he’s just not that into you”. No biggy. Just the way it is.

AnaĂŻs Nin. Her narcissism is extreme. “Strange that I should explore this womb of real flesh when, of all women, I seem the most idealized, the most legendary, a myth, a dream.”Yet still I am fascinated by her, admire her ability to live as she wished, to love as she wished, and her creativity … how I long for that calibre of creativity, to be able to write like that. Her character sketches are wondrous.

She is the poetry, and I am the prosaic. My hands are cold, and I have a kitchen to clean and Atlantic salmon to cook.

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
Leave a comment
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

Green-eyed envy and small blue things

9 June, 200913 July, 2016

Here I am again. Full circle. Pre-cancer. Three years ago. That restless “need to create” feeling. Viewing and listening to the results of others’ creativity, feeling envy. Yes … green-eyed, miserable envy. And feeling dumb, stagnant, sticky and silent. Shadow-artist ever.

For a while there I felt I was finding expression, had found an outlet via writing. Just pre and somewhat ‘during’ Mr Music. Now I feel I’m back to square one. Expressionless, so to speak.

That old green stone is still around, sitting on my bedside table. Time again to delve into Eric Maisel. Yesterday morning, in that ‘half-snoozing’ state my mind “wrote” again. I could have, if I really wanted to, woken fully up and wrote what I “wrote” down. Now I will keep a book by my bed for just that.

Maybe I’m feeling restless and dissatisfied, but I dohave things to do. But it all feels like a “once I move” plan, of course, now. I have my beautiful little Tanglewood guitar. I have watercolour painting art therapy to start on. I will be living with Anne … what better way to ‘create’ creativity.  An artist in the true sense of the word, unfettered by stultifying self-doubt and giving free reign to her imagination. She already does morning pages, etc. No doubt she will push me on as well. It’s a good thing. I DO feel positive that, at least in a month or so, I will be feeling less creatively barren. If I come back from that art & painting conference unscathed by my inability and lack of talent in the workshops.

Still adjusting to the aropax, clearly 🙂

I’m very sore and achey today, and worried about my right arm. I have a couple of scratches on it, and my hand is hurting like a bitch. That is the arm I am no longer allowed to have needles in, or blood pressure taken on, and have to be very careful of scratches etc, because of lymph nodes having been taken out and the risk of lymphoedema.

I need to be tidying and sorting pre-packing. But I think, for now, I will wrap myself up in a blanket with a hot cup of tea and watch a dvd. Walkabout, I think. Fancy choosing tea over coffee! I must be feeling cocoonish!

Suzanne Vega day … “today I feel like a small blue thing, made of china, made of glass”…

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
Leave a comment
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

The soul is not nearly as rational as the ego.

25 May, 2009

Returning to Thomas Moore again … so much wisdom…

“The soul is filled throughout with discord and dissonance
and so its first need is poetic madness. That way through
musical sounds we can waken what is dormant, through sweet
harmonies calm what is turbulent, and through the blending
of various elements quell the discord and temper the different
parts of the soul.”
Marsilio Ficino

It is essential in modern life to adore the ego, to think that our social problems and our personal struggles will be resolved once we understand the situation and gain control of it. The current idea of a well-adjusted person is one who is unusually conscious and in charge. It is assumed that the purpose of life is to be more of an ego, successful in the eyes of the world and sanctioned by a swelling egotistic bank account.

The self-reliance characteristic of those who live by the philosophy of modernism betrays its secular core. Other communities of the past and present who live by traditional values acknowledge the mystery of human existence and the immensity of nature. Faced with obstacles, they pray, sacrifice, praise, and petition the source of life beyond themselves. Their religion is not just belief, but a way of being in the world and a profound conception of the self. One way tends toward hubris and self-interest, while the other is rooted in humility.

When we live from a deeper place, we become palpably aware that life is fundamentally mysterious and is ultimately incomprehensible to our rational ways of thinking. We realize that we need other kinds of intelligence and skills. Traditional societies could instruct us in these areas. They worship their ancestors, while we blame our insecurities on our parents and grandparents. They instruct their children in the myths and rites that hold both society and the self together, while we teach our children how to count and use a computer. They heal body, soul and spirit in one, while we break ourselves into compartments and rely on experts trained in isolated specialities.

As we move closer to a soulful life, we learn to life with unruly passions and unpredictable fantasies. We live with our madness and move with it gracefully. Psychosis is not real madness, but is an excess of ego that fractures the envelope in which soul and self lie encircled in each other. Neurosis is the failure to weave autonomous fantasy and stirring emotion into life and is the visible sign of a divided self. The ideal is not to become sane and hygienic, but to live creatively by responding positively to the powerful moods, feelings, and ideas that captivate us. If we don’t meet these life-shapening expressions of the soul creatively, they will quickly become adversaries, and we will develop the split psyche so characteristic of our times, in which our sane lives are flat and aimless while our passions seem incomprehensible and out of control.

To deal with the powerful urges of the deep soul, a poetic attitude rather than a rational one is more effective. Wisdom rather than information guides us, providing the patience to become acquainted with the soul rather than the impatience that leads us into quick cures and explanations. The point is not to flee our depths but to reconnect with them.

The arts could serve us well in this process if we made connections between our experiences of drama, literature, painting, and music and our most personal conflicts and challenges. The arts meet us at the point of imagination, which is a blending of reason and mystery in images. In the arts we contemplate our world and have the chance no longer to be strangers to the deep self that is as opaque to reason as it is transparent to the imagination. An art image is psychosis contained, undivided, and constructive.

In a time of emotional struggle, it might be better to listen to a special piece of music than to consult an expert, and better to draw a picture of the situation than to try to figure it out. Reason is distant and has its own limited requirements for an ordered life, while the arts are intimate and can hold almost any conceivable human predicament.

from “Original Self. Living with Paradox and authenticity.” – Thomas Moore

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
Leave a comment
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

Midnight things

24 May, 2009
  • I wish I had a ‘print screen’ function for my brain. I have this strange phenomenon happen in my dreams. It has been happening a while and with increasing regularity. In my dreams, I ‘write’ sentences. Random sentences that belong in a work of fiction. The strange thing about it is, that in my dreams, I observe this happening and know I’m dreaming it and I say to myself “my God, why can’t I write like that when I’m awake? If only I could remember these things.” Because … they are good. Yes, they are good, very good even, and I recognise this in my dreams. Just a sentence or two usually. And what is weirder is that these moments pop up in the middle of other dreams which have nothing to do with whatever, I suddenly become lucid and watch these sentences come up. Then, presumably, I go back to whatever my dream self was doing and I have no memory of anything.
  • What a week. Heavy heavy rain, now we are flooding. This week I have been changing anti-depressants, to one that is more designed to take care of anxiety. Coming down off one half a tablet a day, one day with none, then slowly starting the new one. I have had excrutiating headaches this week, now I’m just Spacey with a capital S. I was beginning to wonder if perhaps the original ones were doing me a big disfavour. I’ve been feeling more my old self more than ever. Except tonight, just before coming to bed, inexplicable teariness and melancholy, like a spike in a graph. No reason. I know it is just the chemicals/change of chemicals fucking with my head right now.
  • Talking of headaches, I’m really worried about my sister Natalie, the one with the brain tumour. The tablet form of chemo has been doing so well for her that the last two MRIs showed barely anything. Not only have they been taking care of the symptoms (little seizures) but actually shrinking the tumour. The oncologist was amazed … didn’t expect that much of a result. So they gave her a break from the chemo tablets and said they will keep on eye on her. She’s been off it 5-6 weeks now, and she had a couple of little turns this week. Nothing after that. Today we went out to lunch to celebrate my father’s birthday. Natalie has had very bad, and quite constant, sharp stabbing headaches all day long.  I’m worried for her.
  • I have acquired myself a copy of Photoshop CS4 extended. 🙂 I’ve been having fun learning it. It’s not a difficult learning curve, already being very conversant with Paint Shop Pro. But I love it. Hours of fun there.
  • I’ve actually been reading Stephen King again. I haven’t read him for quite a few years. I picked up his two newest books last week, and I’m thoroughly enjoying the short stories now.
  • Been philosophically pondering the common feeling that people diagnosed with cancer get to rediscover their creative side. With me, and another woman I met last weekend (I still have to blog about last weekend’s jaunt), it was music, with my sister, it was more crafty things, though previously she painted. Is it because we (unconsciously even) look at the things we value more? There seems to be a spiritual connection there though, something more than just living according to our values. The need to create, the need to express ourselves through the creation, the need to find solace, safety and comfort in the creating. Hmmm… someone should write a book about that lol!
  • Hope my American friends have a lovely Memorial Day weekend. Missing friends lately, missing important discussions, shared loves, sharing little treasure-finds … missing all of that dreadfully. Thinking I will probably miss it forever. Thinking again on the love/hate relationship with solitude, the nature of melancholy. (The importance of not writing fragments for sentences as is my wont!!) Maybe I’m coming full circle.
  • Here’s a thought … confronting and facing fear and terror is something all of mankind is having to do in this stage of our evolution. This was something someone said last weekend that really struck strings in my soul. And, strangely, it bought me a certain sense of calm, quiet and, dare I say it, nearly peace. It depersonalizes my own struggles somewhat. That’s a very nice thing.
  • Circling back up to the creativity thing … the biggest news (beyond even the all clear for a return of cancer in my breasts) is that I have been offered a piano … for free. I only have to pay to have it hauled from where it is (4 hours south) to here. Cheap, really. And apparently it’s a beautiful instrument. I won’t be able to have it until I move as I don’t have space here, but this is my biggest, longest-held & cherished dream come true. To have, and be able to play, a piano again. I haven’t been playing guitar much either lately, but I’m starting to get itchy fingers. And I’m starting to do regular watercolour painting. Hopefully, somehow, all of this will help beget my dream sentences into waking life 🙂

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
Leave a comment
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

Photoshop fun

23 May, 2009

Nessie …

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • More
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...
Leave a comment
Share
  • Pin it
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

Posts navigation

Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 Next Page

Archives

  • March 2019
  • August 2018
  • March 2018
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • January 2015
  • August 2014
  • June 2014
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • October 2012
  • April 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • June 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • August 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • January 7

Meta

  • Log in
copyright peculiar jules 2015
Angie Makes Feminine WordPress Themes
%d