Irony. I sit here looking at the blank screen not knowing how to begin.
Yesterday I took the first definitive step in what is the beginning of my new life. How incredibly trite and cliched that sounds. But it is true. I kind of wish it could truly be a case of tabula rasa. I guess it is kind of a rebirth in a way but not with a blank slate. I’ve alluded to big life changes before and this time of my life is going to be one of the most traumatic I have ever and will ever have to go through. And hopefully … the most freeing.
Yesterday I made an application for undergrad enrolment at university … Central Queensland University to be exact ( which to my mind really means Northern Queensland University – it’s campuses being waaaaaaaaay up on the humid tropical Queensland coast – I hope to God I don’t have to attend a residential school at any time). Living where I am I have no choice but to study by distance education, and this uni is the only one that offers both of the programs of courses I want to do.
I will be studying Literary Studies (or Literary & Culture – haven’t made up my mind yet) and Film Studies (both literature and film being huge passions of mine as any regular readers of this blog would know). I would like to do a double major – have both as majors, if they allow it because both are specialised BA degrees, rather than one as a major and one as a minor, but we shall see.
All that remains now is to pay for the application and dig out the old transcript of record from the college I went to for welfare studies (“college” does not mean university in Australia … the highest you can get in college is a diploma) and get it certified and send that off. Apparently based on my previous study I can get in easily … the ranking score is more than high enough. I didn’t even bother to mention starting an undergrad psychology with honours degree earlier … I was barely into it before my sister’s brain tumour was diagnosed and I dropped that. Nope – no desire to continue with psychology. I want to study something I will enjoy.
Now I’m terrified. Of course. I was terrified when I started the welfare course, but I ended up acing that and coming top of the class. I know I can do it … but I’m terrified anyway … I guess the old fear of failure thing. Distance study requires extraordinary dedication and organisation but … next year … things are going to be such a whirlpool I hope I can manage it. I am better having to go to class, but I don’t have that option. *shudder* Yes, I’m frightened, excited, anxious …
Bring it on–I think.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’ll be great. Good for you sweetheart. I love school.